Life is so hard with both my boys in school. Like today for instance, I had to go to the beauty shop without any kids. Can you imagine? That was hard.
And then there's that time I had to go to Wal-Mart by myself. Can you believe it? That was hard too.
Actually, I kid.
THIS IS SO FREAKIN AWESOME!!!!!!
Remember that post where I cried and moaned about my "baby going to school"? That was the old me. That was before I had the taste of sweet, sweet, freedom. Did you know that when your last child goes off to kindergarten angels come down from heaven and sing "The Hallelujah Chorus" in your kitchen. They do. Or maybe that was me and instead of "The Hallelujah Chorus" it was "Hurt So Good". I always had a soft spot for John Cougar- we go way back.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
More Today Than Yesterday
Thirteen years ago today, I squeezed myself into a tiny white dress. I was young and naive and had no idea the gift I was being given. Every day since August 26, 1995 I have slowly opened the gift and realized how blessed I am.
Today as we hurry about, packing lunches, feeding the dog, going to work, etc. - I celebrate quietly. I married a great guy. Happy anniversary Craig- I love you.
Today as we hurry about, packing lunches, feeding the dog, going to work, etc. - I celebrate quietly. I married a great guy. Happy anniversary Craig- I love you.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Too Much Drama For Your Mama.
In the dark recesses of my sock drawer, today I found this story I wrote for Spencer. It was after the first week of school last year- which would have been second grade. He was being very sensitive and had every complaint in the book. Finally one night, as all good mothers do, I realized the humor in it all and wrote him this story for his lunch box.
I even illustrated the story but for now you will have to close your eyes and imagine your own pictures.
Spencer's Very Bad, Very Sad Week
written by his mother.
Spencer W's back to school week really did stink!
On Sunday... he couldn't sleep not one little wink!
His blankets and Livie, in one big heap!
On Monday things didn't get any better. His head felt "weird" and his big toe hurt.
Tuesday was the pits! His Mom made him eat a whole spoon of green beans. Nasty!
On Wednesday he was so upset he quit bells and then started back up with bells. Then out of nowhere, he fell off his stool.
On Thursday his bus driver made his sit by a girl- Oh my.
last page: Dear Spencer, I hope your week gets better starting with today . I love you. Love, Mom
I even illustrated the story but for now you will have to close your eyes and imagine your own pictures.
Spencer's Very Bad, Very Sad Week
written by his mother.
Spencer W's back to school week really did stink!
On Sunday... he couldn't sleep not one little wink!
His blankets and Livie, in one big heap!
On Monday things didn't get any better. His head felt "weird" and his big toe hurt.
Tuesday was the pits! His Mom made him eat a whole spoon of green beans. Nasty!
On Wednesday he was so upset he quit bells and then started back up with bells. Then out of nowhere, he fell off his stool.
On Thursday his bus driver made his sit by a girl- Oh my.
last page: Dear Spencer, I hope your week gets better starting with today . I love you. Love, Mom
Friday, August 22, 2008
What Do You Get When You Marry A Therapist And An Unstable Woman?
... a kindergarten boy who says at supper, "Mom, you make my heart hurt when you make me go to school".
This was the week of drama at The W House. Actually, every week is dramatic at The W House come to think of it.
Landon has not enjoyed being seperated from his eternal Activities Coordinator, aka his Mother. School has been a thorn in his side. The nurse at his school even called me a couple of times on my cell phone.
"Yes, Mrs. W... your son seems to have a headache."
"Um. No. My son does not have a headache rather, an aversion to your educational institution. His father says under no uncertain terms am I allowed to pick him up from school. Even though I cried every single day of 1st grade and I know the cross he carries. So, I'll call my friend Angie, and maybe she will pick him up."
But lo, Angie would not pick him up. Something about it's the law, life is hard, yada, yada, yada. So every day I'd greet him by the exit doors of his school. Forlorne, beat down, and just wanting his Sponge Bob with a side of order of Moma's snacks. I can't bear to tell him that if he's like me, he will never get over this feeling.
This was the week of drama at The W House. Actually, every week is dramatic at The W House come to think of it.
Landon has not enjoyed being seperated from his eternal Activities Coordinator, aka his Mother. School has been a thorn in his side. The nurse at his school even called me a couple of times on my cell phone.
"Yes, Mrs. W... your son seems to have a headache."
"Um. No. My son does not have a headache rather, an aversion to your educational institution. His father says under no uncertain terms am I allowed to pick him up from school. Even though I cried every single day of 1st grade and I know the cross he carries. So, I'll call my friend Angie, and maybe she will pick him up."
But lo, Angie would not pick him up. Something about it's the law, life is hard, yada, yada, yada. So every day I'd greet him by the exit doors of his school. Forlorne, beat down, and just wanting his Sponge Bob with a side of order of Moma's snacks. I can't bear to tell him that if he's like me, he will never get over this feeling.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Wanted: Good Attourney- Will Trade 3 Bushels of Corn and 1 Used Ishuffle for Attorney Fees
Looking for attorney. Must love dogs and women who like to over-explain things.
Defendant: innocent tiny/fluffy law abiding dog happened to leave said yard a couple of times (6) and chased a naked man riding a motorized skate board with a seat, carrying a chihuahua.
Plaintiff: over weight, naked skate board riding 60'ish year old wearing skin tight flesh colored shorts and no shirt. Carrying a chihuahua.
"I plead the fifth."
Friday, August 15, 2008
Let Me Tell You About My Grandchildren, My Skin Disease, And My Neighbor's Cousin Who Knows Somebody Who Got Pregnant With A Turkey Baister
Ok. I'm talking about it.
I've got poison ivy.
And it itches. For 3 weeks it itches.
I obtained a steroid off the black market- but it was only a 3 day supply. So, for three days I stopped itching- but grew facial hair, bulked up, and picked fights with random strangers.
She said: "What you looking at?"
Random stranger said: "Uh, I was just looking at the price tag on the loaf of bread."
She said: "Good, let's keep it that way."
Now I'm still itching, steroid is gone, I have no friends left, and I can't find my tweezers.
What would you do?
I've got poison ivy.
And it itches. For 3 weeks it itches.
I obtained a steroid off the black market- but it was only a 3 day supply. So, for three days I stopped itching- but grew facial hair, bulked up, and picked fights with random strangers.
She said: "What you looking at?"
Random stranger said: "Uh, I was just looking at the price tag on the loaf of bread."
She said: "Good, let's keep it that way."
Now I'm still itching, steroid is gone, I have no friends left, and I can't find my tweezers.
What would you do?
Celebrate Good Times Come On!
There's a party going on right here. Because I just found out I'm accepted into Graduate School.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I Wanna Shine
Tonight, I've got nothing.
In the wonderful words of David Crowder...
"But this light that shines on me, shines on you. And makes everything beautiful again."
It'll be alright.
In the wonderful words of David Crowder...
"But this light that shines on me, shines on you. And makes everything beautiful again."
It'll be alright.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Recent Email With My High School Friend That I Found On Facebook
From: Shannon White [mailto:shannonofthewoods@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, August 08, 2008 8:43 AM
To: MyPinkMexico@gmail.com
Subject: I remembered something
Mary Dawn of Creation,
One time at a dance in High School you told me I danced wierd, but you kinda liked it.
What did you mean? Was it all the snapping? Or was it my double-jointedness?
Shannon White
Mary Dawn says:
you know, i dont' remember exactly how you danced...can you make a video and post it on YouTube to refresh my memory? hee
Sent: Friday, August 08, 2008 8:43 AM
To: MyPinkMexico@gmail.com
Subject: I remembered something
Mary Dawn of Creation,
One time at a dance in High School you told me I danced wierd, but you kinda liked it.
What did you mean? Was it all the snapping? Or was it my double-jointedness?
Shannon White
Mary Dawn says:
you know, i dont' remember exactly how you danced...can you make a video and post it on YouTube to refresh my memory? hee
Friday, August 8, 2008
Mom, Would You Please Read This To Daddy
Dear father,
I know you are a shy man. I realize you have never looked a camera in the eye. Remember the time you yelled at the school girl for mocking your V.W. Bug with a hay bale in the back seat? I would never bring that up in public. But, you weren't too shy then. And Daddy, do you really think that pillow hides the fact that you are prancing around in your tightie whities with those lilly white legs? Come on, that's not too shy.
So would you please do the hand bone for my internet friends? They won't look. We will all look away and just listen. Please, just think about it.
Love,
Shannon
I know you are a shy man. I realize you have never looked a camera in the eye. Remember the time you yelled at the school girl for mocking your V.W. Bug with a hay bale in the back seat? I would never bring that up in public. But, you weren't too shy then. And Daddy, do you really think that pillow hides the fact that you are prancing around in your tightie whities with those lilly white legs? Come on, that's not too shy.
So would you please do the hand bone for my internet friends? They won't look. We will all look away and just listen. Please, just think about it.
Love,
Shannon
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Missing Home
Sometime in the late 60's, my uncle Jack had a car. Being one of 9 siblings, a car was a big deal. So what if the car had no seats?! Yes, you read that correctly. His car had no seats. So of course this is why he drove around with kitchen chairs as seats.
Windows down, shirt sleeves rolled up, no shoes, and life was good.
Mom said this worked out o.k. except for the sudden stops. I believe it was George whose chair flipped back when they came to a sudden stop upon arrival at my Aunt Jennies store. But it's all good. George is a good sport. And Aunt Jennie probably had a mean plate of biscuits and gravy waiting for them.
Windows down, shirt sleeves rolled up, no shoes, and life was good.
Mom said this worked out o.k. except for the sudden stops. I believe it was George whose chair flipped back when they came to a sudden stop upon arrival at my Aunt Jennies store. But it's all good. George is a good sport. And Aunt Jennie probably had a mean plate of biscuits and gravy waiting for them.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Another Step Towards Adult-hood And Parental Abandonment
The day finally came on Monday for Landon to get his kindergarten shots. The waiting room was stuffed to the brim with sweaty 5 year olds and their sweaty parents. One by one kids came out from the shot room- happy as a lark. I'd say, "see, it must not be too bad, she's acting just fine". With each child, my anxiety for Landon lessoned.
Then it came to be Landon's turn. And he flipped out. Not just a little bit flipped, totally flipped. Imagine the sound of a hungry baby cougar in the wild that has lost his home to evil man, due to urban sprawl. That was the sound Landon made- through 4 shots.
3 days later, as a sign of the Lord's provision, Landon is still wearing his badges of honor- the band-aids.
This morning we are going for him to get tested for kindergarten. I've been through this before. She will tell me he has poor small motor skills and didn't know the answers to a lot of their questions. He can't write his name and couldn't point to the cow. (Inspite of 3 years of pre-school).
And I'll say, "Oh you mean like a 5 year old boy who just wants to play with friends all day?"
But I won't be concerned. This child is smart. He'll be fine. He does know what a cow is, he's just refusing to play her kindergarten mind games. She'll see. He'll be fine.
Then it came to be Landon's turn. And he flipped out. Not just a little bit flipped, totally flipped. Imagine the sound of a hungry baby cougar in the wild that has lost his home to evil man, due to urban sprawl. That was the sound Landon made- through 4 shots.
3 days later, as a sign of the Lord's provision, Landon is still wearing his badges of honor- the band-aids.
This morning we are going for him to get tested for kindergarten. I've been through this before. She will tell me he has poor small motor skills and didn't know the answers to a lot of their questions. He can't write his name and couldn't point to the cow. (Inspite of 3 years of pre-school).
And I'll say, "Oh you mean like a 5 year old boy who just wants to play with friends all day?"
But I won't be concerned. This child is smart. He'll be fine. He does know what a cow is, he's just refusing to play her kindergarten mind games. She'll see. He'll be fine.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Party at Camp
Recently Craig celebrated his 40th birthday. I told him I had gotten him a kitten. He was not happy about that. But I was just messing with him. I love to do that. That's why he likes me so much. I entertain him. Get your mind out of the gutter. Why do you always have to go there? What I'm saying is that I am so much fun to live with. Constant party- that's what I am.
Spencer has my sense of humor. He had Craig totally convinced that he was getting a kitty. It's scary how good he was at tricking Craig. That boy. Where'd he get all those shenanigans?
Some of our friends went together and got Craig this picnic table. We blind folded him and brought him the table with a Dairy Queen ice cream cake on top. How fun is that! I love our friends. And ice cream cake.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)