As a child in the woods (get it... shannonofthewoods) every once in a while I'd get out and go visit my cousin Jennifer. We'd pack up the car and drive 12 miles to her town. I love Jennifer. She's cool and the coolest thing about her cool is that she doesn't know she's cool. Are you scared that you actually know what I just wrote?
Jennifer taught me lots of things. Once, she taught me to skate. She was a pro. Her with all her cuteness. You know the type. Petite, cute, likable. Suave. She had herself some professional lessons- a real teacher. Yeah, she's that girl. So Mamaw took us to the local rink where of course Jennifer knew everyone. Years later I found out by Chad Peterson that she had warned all of her friends not to cuss in front of me. Thanks cous- you had my back.
Jennifer, remember when you came to my sleep over wearing an eye patch? That looked painful.
I digress. Once Jennifer taught me how to act nonchalant. Remember that Jennifer? Something big happened in the town next to hers. THEY GOT A MCDONALDS! So, in 1985 we had our first Happy Meal. Two problems with this. One, we were 15 and eating Happy Meals. Two, T.A. (cutest guy I knew) showed up at the first McDonalds experience. You know who I'm talking about Jenn? Can I say copy machine? Anyway, we totally blew off the Happy Meals and tried to recover by acting nonchalant. Don't think it worked.
Lastly, she taught me how to drive. OK, all you fancy people north of the Mason Dixon Line, you act all fancy with your Drivers Ed. Who needs drivers ed when you have your Mamaw Mae's lawn and Cousin Jennifer? Hours and hours we spent listening to WHIC and driving circles around Mamaw's House. While Mamaw cut hair in her downstairs beauty shop. Another story for another time.
I got pretty good with Jennifer's lessons. We even had faux stop signs, etc. Mamaw had built-in obstacles like clothes line, garden, concrete deer and ducks, retaining wall, etc. It was fine training. The fact that we actually never drove on a road has little to no signifigance.
One time Jennifer had a boyfriend call her at Mamaw's house. He asked, "is Jennifer there?" Mamaw replied..."well no, she's gone to get some schoolin".
Yeah, Jennifer "went to get some schoolin'" and then moved many miles away. Jennifer, I wish we still lived only 12 miles apart. You could still teach me a thing or two.