Our relationship started so very long ago. Even as a teen you were my go to. My self soothe. My dear friend Dr. Pepper. You got me through the rocky times. Adolescence, bad break-ups, the time my horse bucked me off and then jumped on my hip- you were always there. We've had some celebrations too. Child birth, midnights at campfire, ping pong tourneys at married couples. Remember the time in 89 when Mel and I swam with the manatees- you were there. Fun times.
But, things are changing. I'm not 25 any more. There are pooches were they shouldn't be, double things, and swagging things. They just should not be. At 110 calories per can, I just can't justify you anymore.
Then there's the added problem of my concave butt. Where oh where is my butt going? Is it going to the front. I dare say, "yes".
So, I blame you. There comes a time in some relationships when it's just time to part ways. Before things get bad.
Don't worry about your ugly step-sister, Diet Dr. Pepper. Don't worry. I would never turn to her. She's a joke. Ugly excuse for a pop. She shall never take your place.
I've heard people with addictions often replace one addiction for another. I was thinking of heroine. Oh, I kid... that's too expensive. Maybe pickles? How about country music? What should I chose as my new addiction? Think about it and get back with me.
It's been good Dr. Pepper. But it's over.