I think I know .009% of how Mom's feel when their youngest goes off to college. In a few short weeks Landon will be going off to kindergarten.
There have been many occasions in the past where I've day dreamed about that event of both boys being in school all day. You know the days... where things seem so hard with young kids at home- you go in your room for a few seconds to do the "ugly cry". There have been times I have cried so hard no tears came out. My mouth just spreads real thin and wide and I do this puppet mouth kind of move. "Oh Lord", I cry... "take me now!" Particularly when both boys were at home all day. Looking back God gave me just what I needed to make it through each day. And some days it felt like that's all we did... just make it.
I never realized I was a screamer. Or that I was impatient... until I had kids. It was always in me, it just never came out until kids. I try. And sometimes I do a really good job. And then sometimes I don't.
But I think I've finally gotten used to this stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) thing. I'm content with things the way they are. This is who I am. I am Shannon. I stay home with my kids. I work at school a few mornings a week- the rest I'm home with my kids.
But... that is all about to change. Now that the time is finally here, I'm really sad. Who will I be now? All day every day? What will I do?
This will take some adjusting. I think this is a very important step in the whole process of learning to let my kids go. Not that I ever really had them- they belong to God.
I belong to God too. I put my trust in Him.