Friday, October 3, 2008

If It Weren't For Panty Hose

Those who know me well, know that eventually the topic will turn to panty hose. Everything always comes back around to panty hose. You see, panty hose are my arch nemesis.

There was a time during my college days when I considered the idea of "Political Science" as a major. I guess I should say minor because finding a husband was always my major. And that worked out well by the way.

With definite views and concerns in politics, I was sure I could make a difference.
1. I'm loud. 2. I like to argue. 3. I'm good at making up stuff.

With his wiry thin hair and red face, Dr. Glenn Martin (God rest his dear soul) strongly advised me to "throw that crazy psychology degree in the trash and change the world!" After careful consideration at "The Wildcat" over a Dr. Pepper and chicken sandwich I realized, politics just wasn't for me. The reason? Panty hose. Everyone knows female politicians are required to wear panty hose. And this little activist SHALL NEVER wear panty hose. My sister made me wear panty hose in her wedding, I'm sure as punishment. And I cried. So, because of that darn nylon faux skin, my political career was snuffed out before it ever began.

During the last two months my political addiction has swelled to epic proportions. I almost can not take it any longer! (As I type Fox News is on the t.v. and also my computer.) During the debates I get hives and have to eat jello. It calms my stomach.

I could of been the one debating Joe Biden last night! That could be me up on that stage. Would you vote for me? Even if I was wearing knee socks? That could be me. I'm thinking though, if he disagreed with me I'd probably just start crying and it'd all be over. I'm also thinking crying is a definate no no in a vp debate. So maybe psychology wasn't such a bad choice after all.

My slogan could be...
What's the difference between a hillbilly and a pit bull? ...
teeth.

4 comments:

Keetha said...

You are one funny gal!!!

Beth said...

Maybe we should chat sometime about more of Dr. Martin(isms). You know, I have a minor in U.S. History. Good times, good talks, good quotes!

Shannon said...

Beth what is your last name? : )

Toevs said...

you know, pant suits are big now. :-)