Let Me Tell You About My Grandchildren, My Skin Disease, And My Neighbor's Cousin Who Knows Somebody Who Got Pregnant With A Turkey Baister

Ok. I'm talking about it.

I've got poison ivy.

And it itches. For 3 weeks it itches.

I obtained a steroid off the black market- but it was only a 3 day supply. So, for three days I stopped itching- but grew facial hair, bulked up, and picked fights with random strangers.

She said: "What you looking at?"
Random stranger said: "Uh, I was just looking at the price tag on the loaf of bread."
She said: "Good, let's keep it that way."

Now I'm still itching, steroid is gone, I have no friends left, and I can't find my tweezers.

What would you do?

Look What I Found

If school doesn't start soon, I'm gonna open this puppy. And down all .50 ml!